Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting

If Carlsberg made parenting courses....

Earlier this year I came across an article that mentioned a parenting class, Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting, which sounded kind of interesting. So I went to the UK website and discovered that they put on free introductory talks and that one of these, Bringing Out the Best In Boys, sounded exactly like what we were looking for! Even better the talk was being given just down the road in West Hampstead and so we signed up and high-tailed it down there on the evening in question. What a great decision - one of the best that we have ever made. The talk made so much sense that we immediately bought Noël Janis-Norton's series of foundation skills CDs and put them on play at the earliest opportunity.

What a revelation! The obvious but non-intuitive techniques of Descriptive Praise and Reflective Listening made so much sense that we just had to put them into practice directly; right there in the car while we were driving along! After that came Preparing For Success, which removed so many of the pitfalls of a day at the beach, and Never Ask Twice - an infallible method for ensuring that your child follows your instructions. Finally we moved on to Rewards & Consequences That Work which was funny since initially we thought that all we were looking for were some consequences that actually worked! After a period though we realised that that while the CDs were powerful tools we were too clumsy to get the best out of them; so we signed up for the seven-week Parenting Skills Course with Noël.

Now, in a way, this is ancient history because we began the course back in May and completed it on Tuesday - along with all of the parents and couples who had signed up to this particular course. What an amazing, eye-opening and intensely draining journey though! Week by week Noël, along with her experienced support staff, took us through the elements of parenting and the concrete, practical application of the skills that she talks about in her parenting CDs. At every session we brought with us the questions and concerns of a week's full-on parenting and looked to her for guidance, enlightenment and encouragement. We were not disappointed!

The curious part is that parenting is a lot like making a long journey into the mountains; all of the way along you think that the peak in sight is the end, the summit, and yet when you get there you realise that just beyond it is yet another climb. Similarly with the parenting course we realised, towards the end, that we could only complete the circle with a family session - by coming to see Noël with Joshua or Christina and then observing exactly how she applied her skills with our children (and with what results). The first of these took place today with Joshua and it threw into focus a couple of important points; just how far we have travelled as a family (and how much Joshua has developed in that time) and how the fine detail of these parenting skills makes all of the difference.

In a way then it is still early days for us, as a family, but there's no doubt in my mind that Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting has kicked-off a fundamental and utterly beneficial reform of the way in which we parent our children. The crazy thing is that our home life wasn't all that bad to begin with (certainly we had none of the violence or argument that other parents have to contend with) but even so our lives have been improved out of all recognition. So if you ever feel that you can't see the wood for the trees with your kids then I know what course I'd recommend (and we've been on a few) and of course you can always borrow our CDs.....